Thanks for tuning into The Crazy Bubba Podcast:
I want to introduce you to my family:
Grand Pa Dipweed, Grand Ma Dipweed, my grand parents. Then there’s my Mammy and Pappy Dipweed. My Brothers and Sisters, Bubbet Dipweep, Righty tighty and lefty lucy (My Siamese twin sisters) One body with 2 heads. My older brother Jake and my younger brother “Puddin.” We call him puddin because his skull never closed up on top and the top of his head is soft, just like puddin.
One day my mammy took off and was gone for 36 months, when she came back, she brought our new half sister “Shenaynay” (She don’t look like the rest of us).
Our Family Reunion Trip
I want to tell you about the time my brothers and sisters were traveling across the country, on our way to the Dipweed family reunion. We were running late because the twins was fussing and fighting and we had to stop and let them fight it out.
We stopped at an all-you-can-eat Mexican food/gas station and we had a heaping helping of Mexican food. Puddin was the only one who ate the Mystery Enchiladas made out of goat tripe. It looked ok, but didn’t smell right to me.
We got back into the van and Jake was driving. He said we were going to make up time by driving straight through, no more stops. About that time Puddin’s stomach started gurgling and rumbling. He started moaning and groaning. He said he needed to go to the bathroom, but Jake said “NO.” You’re just going to have to hold it until we get to the Motel 6, which was 4 more hours away.
Puddin started complaining about his stomach and every time we hit a bump in the road, his belly started rumbling. It sounded like water starting to boil. I had a suspicion that this wasn’t going to end good.
Puddin said that if we didn’t stop, he was going to shit his pants, but Jake said “We’re not stopping so just put a cork in it, and cross your legs.” Puddin started moaning, crying, yelling, and turned a lite shade of green.
We finally got to the Motel 6 and before we could even park, Puddin flung open the door and start hopping toward the Motel 6. He looked like he was a one-legged man in a sack hop race. He couldn’t uncross his legs because he knew he would explode, so he had to keep them crossed and he was hopping toward the Motel 6 lobby.
Pudding hit the lobby and yelled “Get out of my way.” He ran into the bathroom and into the first stall. He flung open the toilet seat, and spun around, uncrossed his legs and yanked down his pants. Before his ass even hit the toilet, a fire hose of dodo-soup shit came blasting out of his ass. But here’s the problem, he fling open the toilet lid so hard that it hit the backstop, and slammed shut again. Puddin was unaware of the situation. and had no control over his body anyway. (Houston we have a problem.) It was one of those Kodak moments. His shit/dodo-soup came out as a very high-speed and hit that flat surface top of the commode lid and exploded in all directions. It was like shit-fireworks! there was even shit on the ceiling! It was so bad that the fire department was called out, and they had to completely close the bathroom with yellow tape.
The hotel manager said that this was the worst bathroom he had ever seen, and he’s been a hotel manager for 33 years. They had to call in a special team of cleaners who wore white Hazmat suites with full head-gear with a breathing apparatus. The local TV station came out and reported the situation.
The fireman had to take Puddin around back and they hosed him off.
In this episode we are also talking about: